Update - After the Boundaries

Sorry it has been a long time sense the last post...  with dealing with a graduate degree, practicum, and life, things got crazy busy...  But felt it was time and much needed...

The past few months have been really crazy busy...  and a LOT has changed...  when I think back on the past few months, past couple years it seems crazy how much has changed and where my life is...

Of course, if we all sit back and think about it, a lot has changed for us all.  During the most recent months I've really started to reevaluate things, situations, people, etc...  I've come to realize that I am a magnet for Narcissists, and Sociopaths...   I've also come to realize that there are specific people that this happens to, and a lot of people I know this happens to.  So I wanted to write up an update, how things have gone sense I put up some healthy boundaries, in the hopes to encourage some of you :)

It happens to those who are the most caring, most loyal... those who wear their hearts on their sleeves...  We tend to open ourselves up to these people, to let them come in and violate our personal boundaries...  and we NEED to put up these boundaries...  (Previous post on building personal boundaries).  Well I put up some boundaries, and here is update :)

When I put up those personal boundaries I have noticed that I don't hear from a lot of people no more.  I don't go out as much as I used to.  I don't see people like I used to.  And while it hurts a lot to know they weren't true friends, because true friends would respect those boundaries, I know it is for the best.  We all must remember this.  When your sitting home, remembering good times, feeling sad, and lonely...  don't contact!  If they really cared, they wouldn't let days, weeks, months go by without checking in.  I've realized that I am the one who does it all.  Friendship isn't one sided... it goes both ways, please remember that, and don't let people take advantage of you.

I've looked back on other previous friendships, and realized that these people were very negative, and not healthy relationships what so ever!  They were fake!  I am so happy to be free of that negativity.  The majority of friendships gone are that of Narcissists, and sociopaths...  and I don't mean they fit one or two of the criteria for those disorders, they fit dang near all of them!!!!

Now that I see it, I feel like my eyes are open... I don't understand how no one else see's it?  Are they blind to it?  Do they see it but allow it?  I am not sure...

I just know, that while at times things hurt...  it hurts to be replaced, ignored, passed over, left behind... sometimes it's for the best.  Because if they were real friends, if they really did care.  Then no amount of healthy boundaries would have changed anything.

If you even doubt someone a little, it's time to reevaluate things.

To be healthy yourself, you must put up those boundaries, if everyone leaves, fine, let them, they aren't worth it!  Make some new friends.

I know this sounds pretty rough... but on the positives, I am have been more stress free!!!  My anxiety has dropped, and I am happier most times now.  At first it was rough, I got lonely, still do, I remember all the good times, and it hurts, really hurts... but then I think about the type of people they are, and I remember I don't want that in my life, and I'm better for not having in there!  I am enjoying the small things a lot more now :)

I'm going to cut this update short, and start working on a few more topics :)  I hope you all have been well, and I hope these words of encouragement help you through your journey. While it is hard, it is worth it!!!  Keep moving forward, one foot at a time!  Self-care is NOT selfish!  It's a necessity!